You are a mother who has, for reasons that many people would consider valid, kept quiet about the identity of your children’s father or discouraged involvement between him and the children. Perhaps he was abusive or engaged in serious criminal activity. Bottom line: You thought it was best that the children not get to know him and vice versa. However, he has found out about the children or wants to be involved in their lives.
Is there any way you can prevent the DNA test that would establish his paternity?
Meet with a lawyer
A situation such as yours is complicated and has the potential to become even more so. Before trying to do anything yourself or relying on generic advice, meet with a lawyer to go through your options.
Is a presumed father in the picture?
If your children are older than five years and have a presumed father already, then it is possible that the courts might reject the biological father’s request for a court-ordered paternity test.
The biological father’s official background
If the biological father has many criminal convictions and violence-related convictions, you may be able to successfully argue that you deserve to retain full parental rights with no visitation from the father. But would the court order a DNA test first? It is possible.
If there is not much official background to support your assertions, then the court might order the DNA test. Once paternity is established, you may find yourself in the upsetting position of having to jostle with this person for legal and physical custody of your children. A lawyer may be able to guide you through your options, but a key thing to remember is that no matter how much you despise this man and how bad you think he will be for the children, bad-mouthing him or getting angry at him in front of the children could backfire on you. Moreover, it puts the children in the middle.