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Divorce can be quite challenging when the married couple has young children. However, it’s generally better to divorce than to stay together for the kids in cases where the marriage causes conflict. It’s not the divorce per se that hurts the kids; it’s the conflict. For parents considering divorce in Massachusetts, there are some things to keep in mind. Divorce is a difficult transition for everyone, but dealing with big changes can have a positive effect on a child by making him or her more resilient.

Parents should maintain consistency where they can. For example, it may be wise to keep the children in the same schools. Allowing the kids as much choice as possible can also be helpful. Children tend to blame themselves for marital separations. Therefore, it’s very important to let the kids know it is not their fault.

Another step that can be difficult for divorcing couples is to give the children permission to love the other parent. Each of the parents will have an independent relationship with the children after the divorce. Bad-mouthing an ex is generally a bad idea; it can make the bad-mouther look petty and the kids are perceptive enough to see reality, whatever it is.

A parent who is going through a divorce with kids in Massachusetts might gain from a consultation with an attorney. A lawyer with experience practicing family law might be able to help the client anticipate and prepare for the process. Legal counsel could also negotiate property division with the other spouse or argue on behalf of the client regarding spousal support.