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How can you co-parent with a narcissist?

| Jan 8, 2021 | Child Custody

There are many things in life that a narcissist can make challenging. One of these is co-parenting. When you have a narcissist as your co-parent, you’ll quickly learn that there are some things that can make the situation easier and others that will make it worse.

One thing that you should always remember is that co-parenting with a narcissist is going to test your nerves. You’ll come to expect your ex to employ tactics that are aimed at making you upset. Being prepared for those may help you to keep your stress controlled.

Tone down your reactions

Narcissists get their power from the reactions of others. Taking away their ability to get those reactions out of you is beneficial. You can do this by using written communication via a parenting app or by communicating through a neutral third party. Never try to pass messages through the children because this puts the kids in an awkward position.

Keep the kids at the center

The kids should always be at the center of the discussions you have with your ex. You have to do what’s best for them. Trying to do this with a narcissistic co-parent isn’t always easy, so try to keep records of everything that’s said or agreed to in case you have to refer back to it later.

Working closely with your attorney can help you to ensure that you have a parenting plan in place that puts your children first. This plan is the guideline that you and your ex will follow. It must be set to do what the children need, but it can also set terms that help you to ensure that the narcissist can’t control every situation.